Fear of the Dentist: Helping an Anxious Child

By Dr. Mohsen Alozaibi, Tiny Teeth Dental Center, Abu Dhabi

"He cries as soon as we park the car." Many parents tell me this, often a little embarrassed. Please don't be. Feeling nervous about the dentist is very common in children, and with the right preparation and a patient approach, most anxious children become calmer visitors over time.

Why do children fear the dentist?

• The unknown: bright lights, new sounds and a stranger looking into their mouth.
• A past experience: a painful visit, often when a problem was already advanced, can be remembered for years.
• Words they have heard: stories from siblings, cousins or adults about "the needle" or "the drill".
• Picking up on parents' feelings: children read our faces and voices very quickly.
• Age and temperament: toddlers and naturally cautious children often need more time to warm up.

What to say, and what to avoid

Helpful:

• Keep it simple and positive: "The dentist is going to count your teeth and make sure they're strong."
• Answer questions honestly but briefly, and let the dental team explain the details in child-friendly words.
• Praise courage, not perfection: "You opened really wide, that was brave."
• Read a picture book or play "dentist" at home, counting teeth with a toothbrush.

Best avoided:

• Words like "needle", "hurt", "pain", "drill" or "it won't hurt". Even reassurance puts the idea of pain in their mind.
• Sharing your own bad dental memories in front of your child.
• Big bribes before the visit, which can signal that something unpleasant is coming. A small reward afterwards is fine.
• Using the dentist as a threat. "If you don't brush, the dentist will pull your teeth out" turns the dentist into a punishment. We would much rather be the people who help.

How we help in the clinic

Every child is different, so the approach is adjusted to each one. Common techniques include:

• Tell-show-do: we explain a step in simple words, show it (for example, the "water spray" on a finger), and only then do it in the mouth.
• Short, positive visits: for a very nervous child, the first visit may simply be sitting in the chair and riding it up and down. Building trust comes first.
• Distraction: cartoons, songs, counting games and breathing exercises like "blowing out birthday candles".
• A sense of control: we agree on a signal, such as raising a hand, so the child can ask for a short break.

Gentle options when treatment is needed

When a child needs a filling or other treatment, there are options that can make it more comfortable. After assessing your child, the dentist will discuss whether they are suitable.

• Nitrous oxide ("laughing gas"): a mild gas mixed with oxygen and breathed through a small nose mask. Your child stays awake and can talk to us, but usually feels more relaxed. Its effects typically wear off within minutes once the mask is removed. It is not suitable for every child, for example if the nose is very blocked, so the dentist will check first and give you simple instructions before the visit.
• STA computer-controlled anaesthesia: this system delivers the numbing medicine slowly and at a steady pressure through a small, pen-like handpiece. Many children find it more comfortable than a traditional syringe, and it looks less frightening.

These tools support good communication rather than replace it. The aim, in the words we use at the clinic, is "No Fear, No Tears — Just Smiles", but some tears along the way are normal and are not a failure.

Tips for the day of the visit

1. Book a morning appointment when your child is rested, and avoid nap time. 2. Stay calm and matter-of-fact, even if your child gets upset. 3. Bring a favourite toy or comfort item. 4. Follow the dentist's lead during the visit, so your child hears one clear voice. 5. Don't wait for pain. Regular check-ups mean most visits stay short and easy, which builds confidence.